She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize