i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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