this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Randomize
