Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
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