Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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