Your mouth is God's brothel.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
