how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
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