I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
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