Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
