guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
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