Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
thus making me awesome and them whores
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
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