with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
So vagazzling was a success
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
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