I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
