she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Randomize
