some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
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