Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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