Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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