the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Randomize
