Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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