dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
So vagazzling was a success
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize