if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Randomize
