How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
I supernannyed him into submission
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
