Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
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