News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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