My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
