I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
