Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
