i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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