Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
you would pick up someone in the library
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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