she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
