Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Randomize
