And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
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