you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
