FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
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