my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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