so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
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