Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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