I showed him my bush... on skype.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
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