I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Randomize
