As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Someone came in the potted fern
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Randomize
