A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
