you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
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