Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Randomize
