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He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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