Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Randomize