woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Someone stole a lamp last night.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
