that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize
