if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
