Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
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