You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
That accounts for only three of the penises
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
im on a boat
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