Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
What drink are we having for lunch?
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Randomize
