Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
