just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
