also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
