someone get that fucking seahorse.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Houston, we have a squirter
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Randomize
