His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Randomize
