so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
