love makes seman taste better
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
