You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Randomize
