He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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