Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Randomize
