Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
You were trust falling into bushes
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
