There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Randomize
