And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
