So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
did you just send me my own nude
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
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