i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
