I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
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