I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
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