Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Blood and glitter go together right?
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Randomize
