I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
