420 ftw
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
our cab driver is having phone sex.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
Randomize