I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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