what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
