dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Panties = found
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Randomize
