So drunk, too bad you don't want this
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
