So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
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