we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
