why didn't you poke me back
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Randomize
