there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
