You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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