the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
