I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
