haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize