Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
He has the fingertips of a God
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