I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
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