Taylor Swift is so right about you.
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
